AWAKENING

Lord
The cage has twisted into a bird
and taken flight
and my heart is deranged
because it howls at death
and it smiles behind the wind
at my delusions

What to do with this fear
What to do with this fear

Light has stopped dancing on my smile
and the seasons no longer burn doves into my thoughts
My hands have undressed
and gone where death
teaches the dead to live

Lord
Air punishes my existence
Behind the air there are monsters
that drink from my blood

It’s disaster
It’s the hour of emptiness not empty
It’s the instant to bolt lips shut
to hear the condemned cry out
to contemplate each one of my names
strangled in nothingness

Lord
I’m twenty years old
So are my eyes
and yet they say nothing

Lord
I’ve consumed my life in an instant
The last innocence ruptured
Now is never or never more
or it simply was

How not to kill myself facing a mirror
and vanish to reappear in the sea
where awaits a grand ship
with twinkling lights?

How not to extract my veins
and make a ladder with them
to flee to the other side of night?

The beginning gives birth to the end
Everything will stay the same
Worn-out smiles
Interested interest
Questions of stone on stone
Empty gestures that mimic love
Everything will stay the same

But my arms insist on embracing the world
because they weren’t taught
that now it’s too late

Lord
Heave the coffins of my blood

I remember my childhood
when I was an old woman
Flowers would perish in my hands
because in the wild dance of bliss
their hearts shattered

I remember black mornings of sun
as a little girl
that is, yesterday
that is, centuries ago

Lord
The cage has twisted into a bird
and devoured my hopes

Lord
The cage has twisted into a bird
What to do with this fear